a feast of an argument
Mr. B made it back!
Whoop, whoop.
I was a very happy girl yesterday when I picked Mr. B up at the airport. Apparently keeping your fingers crossed really does work. Hmmm. I was worried that he wasn’t going to be home for another two weeks. Praise Jesus that worked out in our favor. He was able to catch the direct flight out of Midland at 8:30 central time and be back home by 10:30.
Even though I was jazz hands excited about seeing Mr. B, re-entry did not go as planned. What I don’t think people realize is that he travels to the worst places in America. God didn’t put natural gas in the sexiest places people. There are no Four Seasons in the towns he visits.
Try to imagine yourself in southeast New Mexico where it’s 110 degrees everyday and you have to sit in an engine room that is louder then a train and make sure it is running correctly. Makes pounding dirt sound appealing huh?
Like I said before, the transition from an extreme environment back to reality can take a toll not only on the person doing the job but also on the support team (i.e. me).
Basically Mr. B and I got in a huge fight because trying to reconnect after you barely talk for a week is hard. There is no manual explaining how to communicate to each other when he is speaking one language and I another for entire week. You would think after four years of marriage we would have this figured out but we don’t. All we can do is just continue to grow and learn from our mistakes.
The biggest advice I can give is to be specific. They tell you in therapy (oh yes, I have seen a therapist. I am not ashamed of it. Sometimes it’s good to talk to a third party about life in general. It doesn’t mean you’re crazy) that anger is a second emotion. The real emotion lies in disappointment or feeling hurt. You have to tell your spouse, “I was hurt because you did xyz.”
And that’s what we did. I told Mr. B I was frustrated because when he comes back home I feel like I get drilled about not getting certain things done. And he feels frustrated because when he comes back he has to fix even more stuff. It can be a vicious cycle and there are no answer sometimes. But as a married couple, at the end of the day, you have to realize you both are on the same team and work from there.
Alright, enough of my marriage soapbox.
We did kiss and make-up because I was not going to dine alone with the feast I wanted to prepare. Last night’s dinner was awesome! I made my famous meatballs with mozzarella cheese (added twist: bacon!) and I finally cooked artichokes. Ahhhhh…..yeahhhhh.
- 1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon kosher salt
- 2 large lemons, quartered
- 3 large (1 pound) artichokes
- 1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil
- 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
- Vinaigrette:
- 1/2 cup creme fraiche
- 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
- 2 tablespoons champagne vinegar
- 2 tablespoons honey
- 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
- 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
I hear ya on the re-entry communication thing. I'm actually reading a book about that right now! One of these days Drew and Bret will have to swap war stories. He gets shipped to some seriously awful places in the country too. 🙂
Jamie – Ha! We should set them up on a date:)
So glad to hear that Bret is home! I am sure he is happy too.
You are so wise to realize having a fight is just built-up frustration and two different worlds for a week. And heat doesn't help.
Love you and have a good week.
Moomers
Hey – therapy can be a great thing! (says the therapist). Nothing like a little tune-up to avoid miscommunication and work out the kinks. Love it! Sorry the transition is difficult, but glad he's back home!
Wise advice for any couple. Its hard not to take out frustrations on those you love the most. However, the ones you love the most usually are the most forgiving. Welcome home, Mr. B.
Paul