Dear Next-Door Unit Couple,

Hi! How are you?

We have never formally met. In case you didn’t know, we have passed each other in the hallway, garage, and mailbox area numerous times but have never exchanged a single word.

Why is that?

Do we smell? Do we look disheveled most of the time? Do you find it unappealing that my engineer husband works on our car in a community garage?

I don’t think it is too much to ask for a smile or a hello. We do, after all, hear your dryer alarm go off every morning, and put up with your loud sexual encounters at 2am. Do you have to do the nasty to unce unce music all the time?

Maybe your introverted or lack the proper social skills to engage in a conversation. Nobody is perfect. Just say hi. If you did say hi, I would definitely bake you some of my pumpkin muffins or lemon bars. Or even invite you over for a Jack and Ginger cocktail.

I promise you will adore us after a quick chit chat. Come on, you know you can’t resist. What do you have to loose?

Sincerely,

Lauren and Mr. B